4 ways to be kind and compassionate to everyone, including yourself
Let’s face it - life can be tough - Financial struggles, relationship challenges, the modern viewpoint that busy is good and resting is a luxury. Technology has often made us lonelier and social media is full of stories and pictures of seemingly perfect lives. Perfect smiles of perfect people who have it all - modern day “success”
And after we get off the “perfect lives tour bus” and look at ourselves, with all the baggage we are carrying, and the struggles we are facing, all too often we feel energy zapping emotions like disappointment, frustration, disheartened and so on.
Why do we do it to ourselves? Why are we so unkind to ourselves? All too often we put unnecessarily high expectations on ourselves, and when we fall short, it takes so long to pick ourselves up and carry on. But often the memory stays with us, because we pack it into our baggage and carry it with us, sometimes for the rest of our lives. It is unfair, unkind and incredibly damaging. All of that self criticising causes us pain, a pain that hurts our confidence, hurts our mental well being.
We all deserve to be treated with more kindness than that - with more compassion. So what can we do instead?
Accepting that everyone is different. They have their own unique makeup, be it their body shape, character, talents, skills and nature. No one can be like anyone else but everyone can be themselves - including you.
Remembering that everyone makes mistakes. No-one is perfect. Absolutely no-one. Everyone has imperfections and everyone has their own struggles. We all wish we had done something else, said something different, responded in a different way. That’s ok. In fact it is not just ok to mess up sometimes, but actually it is normal. We all fall over sometimes - that is life. Suffering isn’t personal - it happens to everyone in one shape or another. So when something happens to you that causes you pain, don’t be hard on yourself. Look at yourself with kind eyes, speak to yourself with kind words. Imagine you were taking to a friend, a stranger even. What would you say to them? Would you criticise? Would you be harsh? Probably not - so why do it to yourself? Treat yourself with the same level of understanding and compassion you would treat others.
Acknowledge what you have achieved - ok so today something may have not gone the way you wanted, but it is just one thing on one day. Put it in perspective - remind yourself of all you have, and the accomplishments you have achieved and allow yourself to feel proud.
Lighten the load - When you do make a mistake, acknowledge it, learn from it, and let it go. Don’t keep it with you, and remind yourself of it over and over again.