Overcome the Overwhelm: How to Tame Your Impossible To-Do List
Does your to-do list feel like it’s constantly growing, filled with tasks for others and items you’re hesitant to finish because they’re never “good enough”?
Or maybe it is filled with tasks you agreed to do for other people, even through you were screaming inside.
Many of us, especially ambitious women balancing demanding careers and family, struggle with the cycle of taking on others’ responsibilities and reworking our own. The result? An impossible, exhausting to-do list that leaves us overwhelmed, frustrated, and further from our true goals.
Let’s explore a powerful approach to reclaim control of your time and focus: asking “Why?” Repeatedly asking this simple question can help you cut through the noise, get to the root of your to-do list, and identify which tasks are necessary and which aren’t.
Why Your To-Do List Feels Impossible
For many ambitious women, the to-do list isn’t just full; it’s loaded with tasks we didn’t choose, often due to people-pleasing or perfectionist tendencies. Here’s what these look like in everyday life:
People-Pleasing: Saying “yes” to every request, meeting, or favor—even when it means sacrificing your priorities—stems from the desire to avoid disappointing others. However, it often leaves you with a long list of tasks that have little to do with your own goals.
Perfectionism: Perfectionism keeps many of us stuck in rework cycles, hesitating to mark tasks complete or holding back from sharing ideas because they don’t feel “perfect.” This approach is draining and often leaves meaningful tasks lingering, uncompleted.
The cost? A seemingly endless to-do list, drained focus, and lingering frustration. But asking “Why” can be a game changer.
How Asking ‘Why’ Helps Clear Your List
Asking “Why” is about getting honest with yourself. This exercise allows you to uncover why each task is really on your list—and whether it needs to stay.
Let’s look at a couple of examples:
People-Pleasing Tasks: Imagine a colleague asks you for a favor. Before saying “yes,” ask yourself, “Why am I agreeing to this?” Maybe you feel guilty or don’t want to risk coming across as unhelpful. If the real reason isn’t aligned with your goals, then it might be time to say “no” or delegate.
Perfectionism in Reworking: Let’s say you’re on the fourth round of edits for a project. Ask yourself, “Why am I reworking this?” If the answer is something like “It’s not good enough” or “I’m worried others might judge it,” you may be in a perfectionist loop. Recognize that the added hours won’t necessarily improve the outcome and may not be worth it.
By going through this process, you can decide whether each task truly serves your goals or is merely taking up valuable space on your list.
Applying the ‘Why’ Technique to Your To-Do List
Here’s how you can use “Why” to start streamlining your to-do list today:
Review Your List: Grab your current list of tasks. Look at it with fresh eyes, free from the obligation to get it all done.
Ask ‘Why’ for Each Task: For every item, ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” For example:
Is it getting me closer to my goals?
Is it getting me closer to the person I want to be?
Is it fun, and is going to energise me?
Keep asking “Why” until you get to the root of the task.
Decide What Stays or Goes: If the root reason behind a task is external validation, fear, or guilt, consider letting it go, simplifying it, or delegating it. For example, a task that you took on because you didn’t want to say “no” may be removed, while one that aligns with your personal or career goals can stay.
Eliminate, Delegate, or Simplify: For tasks that don’t align with your goals, ask yourself if it can be removed, given to someone else, or simplified.
Be Kind to Yourself: Prioritizing doesn’t mean you’re letting others down. Remember, setting boundaries allows you to show up fully, both for yourself and those who rely on you.
Why This Approach Works
Asking “Why” empowers you to act intentionally. When you understand the purpose behind each task, it becomes easier to let go of those that drain your energy and shift your focus toward what truly matters. This clarity is especially valuable for women balancing high-powered careers and family life, where every minute is precious.
When you take control of your time by aligning it with your own priorities, you’ll find more space for the things that genuinely matter—like progressing in your career, spending quality time with your family, or simply having a moment to yourself.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Power of ‘Why’ and Reclaim Your Time
Your to-do list doesn’t have to control you. By asking “Why” for each task, you give yourself permission to focus on what’s truly important and let go of the rest. This is more than a time-management technique; it’s a way to realign your life with your values, energy, and goals.
Ready to learn more strategies to take control of your time and align your goals with your values? Join my Goal Setting Accelerator Workshop to get the tools you need to create a fulfilling life that balances your career ambitions with your personal priorities.