How to set meaningful goals
The other day a group of wonderful women attended the my 2023 Life Success Strategy Day. We spent the day reflecting, learning and planning for 2023. The event was impactful, full of great conversations underpinned with raw honesty. Honesty on how many of them hadn’t thought that much about goals.
I know how they felt. I was in my 40’s before I thought about them. I had just completed my divorce settlement, when a close relative asked me a question, I had certainly never asked myself. “What are your dreams? What are your goals for yourself? What do you want for yourself”?
I was stunned. I had never been asked the question, and certainly never thought about it. My job up to that point had been looking after everyone else, and my needs, wishes and dreams got put lower and lower on the list.
If you too are in the same boat, and are struggling, here are some steps that may help.
Step 1: Declutter your mind
Sometimes our minds are full of “stuff” that stops us from thinking clearly. If this sounds like you, start by decluttering your mind
Write down your “to do” list
All the things that keep popping into your head, that stop you being free and creative
Then do an audit
Be ruthless - cross out the ones that are not important.
Now look at the other items – do you have to be the one who completes this task, or can it be delegated?
Date the rest and commit to doing these
Hopefully this will clear your mind and help you focus better.
Step 2: Write your “don’t want” list
Some people find it easier to identify what they don’t want, environments they don’t feel comfortable in, areas they avoid at all costs. I know for sure I don’t want to go deep sea diving. Would it take me out of my comfort zone? I’m sure it would, big time, as the very thought but as of now, I am going to give it a miss because there are other things that will also get me out of my comfort zone and closer to my goals.
Step 3: Get curious - ask yourself questions like these
What are you good at?
What is your “thing”?
What do you find easy?
What do you enjoy?
What is the thing that you would happily and willingly do (or have done) for free
What makes you happy? When do you feel alive?
Think back to when you have felt like this
Where were you?
What were you doing?
In what environment do you feel great in?
Look into your past and recall times when you felt fulfilled.
When did you feel satisfied? Worthwhile?
What were you doing when you felt you were your true self?
When did you last go through a task when time seemed to slip away, and you ‘glided’ through it rather than it feeling like a chore?
Step 4: Brain dump down all your goals
Don’t worry about how you will achieve them, just get them from your head and onto paper.
Step 5: Reflect on your goal list
How do they make you feel? If they don’t make you feel excited, they are not for you?
Are they aligned with your values? If not, you won’t stick to them.
Are they aligned with who you want to be?
Will achieving them impact your life positively?